🏛️ Rome 2.0: But Make It Space

Elon doesn’t just want to visit Mars; he wants to found a colony there. Translation? He’s cosplaying as Romulus with a SpaceX rocket instead of a wolf mom.

Elon Musk = eccentric billionaire, space colonizer wannabe, meme poster.

Rome’s origin myth: Mars (the god) fathers twins → they go on to found the Eternal City.

Musk’s origin myth: Mars (the planet) fathers Starship → it goes on to found the Eternal Colony.

Basically, same script, new special effects.

🔴 Mars = God of War, Tech Bro Edition

Romans saw Mars as protector + conqueror. Elon’s spin:

Not “protecting Rome,” but “protecting humanity from extinction.”

Not swords and spears, but rockets and satellites.

Still… it reeks of imperial expansion disguised as "destiny". Instead of conquering Gaul, it’s “let’s terraform a planet and slap a Tesla dealership on Olympus Mons.”

🥩 The Meat of the Irony

Mars is the god of war — and Elon is literally trying to wage war against Earth’s limits.

Climate change? His answer = escape hatch to Mars.

Overpopulation? Answer = ship a few million to the Red Planet like cosmic UberPOOL.

Global collapse? Answer = interplanetary insurance policy.

The Roman senators would’ve eaten that up — expansion is always sexier than fixing potholes back home.

Elon’s Mars dream isn’t some noble utopia — it’s Rome in Space™.

Except instead of gladiators, you’ll get SpaceX interns fighting for oxygen credits. And instead of temples to Mars, you’ll get a Martian Starbucks where a latte costs 3 months of mining duty.

Ah yes, the Musk Family Portrait:

🎓 SpaceX went to college,

😎 Tesla joined a frat,

🖕 X dropped out,

😵 Neuralink looks… well, bored,

🧠 Boring Company brought a shovel to class.

Collect them all — the Avengers of Midlife Crisis™.